God's Got My Back!!

The past couple weeks been simply incredible!! The Lord has revealed Himself to me in ways that I never expected! On April 12th we had our monthly Prayer and Fast day. During that time we had a sharing time and while people were sharing God was working on my heart with anger I had with a person and being so selfish as to want to get credit for things I didn't need credit for. I had be brewing all day and by this point I wanted to scream, punch someone/something, and cry. We sang songs about being in the saviors love and Him always providing. Tears formed in my eyes and my heart broke as God touched my cold heart and asked me to forgive, forget, and trust Him. As one of the apprentices shared some of His experiences God said loud and clear "See Jemi....don't worry...I've got your back!" This hit me so hard as the realization that the Creator of the Universe had MY back! :) I have felt like a little child running to Jesus and having that security of knowing He's right beside me.
    While the apprentices where on Spring Break I was at the Ranch working alone all day for two weeks. It was heaven as i was able to spend time talking to God and learning to trust Him! Multiple incredible blessings have been dropped in my lap and everytime God says "See! I love you so much!!" :) I can't tell you how much I am in love with my Jesus!!
     There is nothing better than being so completely in love with him and dancing away your day with Him!

Spring Time!!

                     

  Hello Family and Friends!

                             Spring has finally come to our mountain and it is simply amazing! The past few days have been warm and sunny, with a refreshing spring rain, and baby animals are arriving. Every year it consistently reminds me of God’s faithfulness and the birth of new life!

          During this time of renewal of our world after a long winter, I am reminded of God’s work in my life. I have come to realize, even while writing this, that God has taken me, and is still leading me, through a winter and into a spring in my life.  It began many months ago but the most recent was this past month. I turned 20 and was hit hard with an ear infection, sinus infection and pink eye on my birthday.  I was angry at God and myself, everyone and everything.  I didn’t understand why, on my birthday of all days, I got sick, no one cared, and I was stuck in my room for 4 days. God took me and basically hit me with a “God by 4,” asking me why I was so self-focused in every part of my life, and why couldn’t I trust Him for every little thing.  I noticed that when I began to look to God for my security and to be myself people began to like me for me, not for whom I thought they wanted.  

 He then began asking me to surrender the thing I held most dear and would run to; my horse, Annie.  I cried out in frustration as to why I didn’t want to give her up or why I needed her. He then gently reminded me that I haven’t been using her.  It was selfish to keep her when possibly a little girl could enjoy her, and God could use her for His glory.  I began talking to my Mom about it and I decided to donate her to a ministry starting up for underprivileged girls. I called them and, lo and behold, they had just been praying for a new horse! I cried as I realized that God wanted me to bless them with her. She will be moving there in a couple weeks.  This is extremely hard as I have put my identity in being a horse owner and a cowgirl. All the things God has been taking me through has shown me that God is slowly chiseling out all the things in my life that preceded Him.

  Another thing that makes me completely dependent on Him is my health. Recently, as many of you know, I have developed food allergies. These allergies have wiped me out and when I get reactions they leave me weak and tired. I can only pray my way through them and rely on God to give me the strength to move on.  I will be going to an allergist to get down to the bottom of this, hopefully before summer begins.

Throughout this “winter” I am learning to be completely content and rely on God for everything. My plans and dreams are very small and pale compared to God’s. Everything that I had worked so hard for seems insignificant and God looks amazing. J  God’s will is always so much better.

          The apprentices are on Spring Break and have been assigned their summer positions.  After they return from break we hit the ground running with our annual Open House, Spring Horse Lovers Retreat, Father Son Retreat, a multitude of other spring retreats, and Summer Staff Training.  Our first week of camp starts June 19^th, and we are looking forward to full weeks and what God is planning for us!

The Ranch is heading up a Missions Trip to Mexico over Spring Break. They will be ministering to a group of children and a church there. They will be running a VBS for the kiddos, and also doing building projects for the church.

We have a couple weeks open to fill with volunteers for the kitchen if anyone is interested! Check out the Ranch’s website for more information.

Prayer:

·       A conclusion to what is going on physically  with me

·       A heart that is solely sold out for Christ

·       Provision of a vehicle

·       A crew of volunteers for the summer

·       To do God’s will even when it is hard

·       Safe travels for Mexico Trip

Praise:

·       Beautiful spring weather

·       God’s provision

This is me! This is Who I am!

      As I have been laying on my bed sick with a sinus infection, ear infection and pink eye there has been so much God has been teaching me. It's amazing how He uses situations to get you back on track and focused on Him. The past month and a half that I have been here, I have been trying to mold myself to what I thought I should be. But that wasn't what God wanted me to be.He wants to be myself. I wrestled with being myself and allowing God to work through me even when other people think what I do isn't "kosher". I am who I am through Christ.  I don't need to be afraid of rejection, or if everyone likes me. I need to be focused on what God made me to be and let Him be the only one that I worry about. The Joy that comes from seeking Christ and Him alone is incredible!
     My dreams have become more real to me and I can see what God would have to do someday! Everything that He places in our path is there for a reason. Even when we don't understand them. "For I know the plans I have for you" Jeremiah 29:11
        I am a Cowgirl after God and I will serve Him to the utmost for His highest!

Broken by Lifehouse Lyrics

Tonight after talking with my Bestest Buddy Katie Goers (whom I praise God for daily) I was listening to Pandora and this song came on. Through addressing some very hard issues of becoming open and true, and other emotional struggles I feel like I am barely hanging on and I am clinging to Jesus while I fall apart. Please listen to this song and let it minister to you as it has me.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

    "Turn your eyes upon Jesus! Look full in His wonderful face! And the things of earth will grow strangly dim. In the light of His glory and grace!"

    

     The past month and a half this has been the theme that God has been putting before me. In the weeks while waiting for the confirmation to go to MMR I was very frustrated and angry for not being able just go. God was asking me to focus on Him and not on what I wanted. After finally getting the ok and a week of working out schedules to get me and my horse moved I had come to where God wanted me. But my focus wasn't fully on God it was still on me. Throughout the week of S.A.L.T. and Sr. Snow Camp I had hit a wall and couldn't move forward. The Lord grasped me and said, "Jemi, where are you? Where's your focus? Your heart? I want you to look at Me and want only Me!" I couldn't get anything done without putting my focus on God. It has been a long training process but I am learning to seek the Lord more fully and live more for Christ than anything! There have been many influences in my life to challange me to live a more Christ centered life! This Journey has been amazing!

      Over the past weekend I was blessed with the oppertunity to go to the PA Horse Expo in Harrisburg. It was a weekend full of little blessings. MMR had a booth set up and also a roping station where anyone who wanted to learn to rope could come or just to practice. It was very fun to be able to teach lil' cowpokes to rope and also to meet some pretty cool people! We also were able to minister to the people of the Baptist Church in Perry County! On the way home one of our two vehicles broke down. Thankfully we hadn't actually left Harrisburg and were able to send most of the group back in the SUV and have the blessing of the McLaren boys come and help us fix the van! After an afternoon of playing games in the parking lot, and fixing the van we celebrated at Texas Roadhouse and departed around 9pm. We pulled into the Ranch at 3 am during a thunderstorm and unloaded all of our gear. It was definately an adventure and God was faithful!

             I cannot explain how happy I am to have a Heavenly Father who loves me so much that He would die for me, and who dances over me! How can I turn my face from Him when He did so much to gain me? I love my Heavenly Abba so very much!

Your Will Lord, Not Mine!

Sometimes I think I know everything. Sometimes I think I know it all.  But when I see the stars in the sky, the mountains high, the wind and sea. How You created me, I feel so small. Who am I to question You? Take this selfish heart of mine and make it new!

Cause I want, Your will not mine! Your way your time! Lord You know so much better than I! My desires but Your own, not my plans but Yours alone. Lord I want Your will, in my life!

Sometimes I think I know where you're leading me. Sometimes I think I know what the future holds. Then my plans they change, You rearrange.  All that I do to comply with You. It's my life You mold. Who am I to question You? Take this selfish heart of mine and make it new!!

Cause I want, Your will not mine! Your way your time! Lord you know so much better than I! My Desires but your own, not my plans but yours alone. Lord I want Your will! Your Kingdom come, Your will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven! Your Kingdom com, Your will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven!

Oh I want, Your will not mine! Your way your time! Lord you know so much better than I! My desires but Your own. Not my plans but Yours alone! Lord I want your will! -Rachel Mozeika

      This is a song that my dear friend Rachel Mozeika wrote while we were apprentices at Miracle Mountain Ranch together. Time and time again I have returned to these words. God has taken my plans and dreams and has rearranged them so many times; and though painful at times I see some of why He did what He did. The adventures He has taken me has molded me into the woman He wants me to be. 

      One of the newest adventures that He is sending me on is the opportunity to become an Intern at MMR in the kitchen. I am currently still waiting for the official yes to come but it is all looking up! It has been a challenge to know that there is a potential job yet being home and just waiting. Waiting for me is like when you put a treat on a dogs nose and they have to wait until the master says its ok :) Some dogs don't get it, others tip their nose down so it drops. While others, even though they don't understand, wait patiently looking to the master for the ok, and then they toss it in the air and chow down on that delicious treat. The Lord has been asking me to wait for my dream of working at the Ranch, and even though I don't understand the wait, the blessing will be all the more sweeter when I focus on Him!

        As for an update on the food allergy issue, I haven't been able to really pinpoint a whole lot. I have a Doctors appointment on the 15th of this month hopefully to get some blood tests done to find out exactly what is going on. The reactions have been random and have been becoming more diverse. Physically after every reaction I feel drained and weak. This in itself has been very hard as I like to feel strong and do hard work when I have that option. Also, this forces me to be honest with myself and others how I feel and if I can't do things. Thankfully I haven't been knocked completely off my feet yet and I am pray myself through each reaction.

        I am still praying about selling my horse and I have had a few people interested but they have fallen through. God has provided an affordable place to board her if I end up moving to MMR. Thank you Jesus for that! I don't know why He keeps providing me with the means to keep her but I know He has a plan.

       January is gone and February has come in with a blast of cold air and lots of ice. We didn't get the blizzard that some got but we did get a lot of slush that froze over. Thankfully nothing major has happened with this weather and I am thankful for that. I still cannot believe that we are already 2 months into 2011!

  Prayer Requests:

- An answer on the MMR Intern position

- Answers to all the health things going on

- Provision of a vehicle

- Matching my horse up with the perfect person

                                                                                  Praises:

                                                                                      - Safe traveling home from the Ranch

                                                                                     -Possible job

                                                                                   -God's faithfulness even when we don't understand

                                                                                   - Safety with the winter storms

         



A New Year

   


    Happy New Year everyone! 2010 is now marked in history and 2011 has started with a bang! With only a little over a week into 2011 I have been getting busy and God has been working. For new years I went to Perry County USA with some apprentice buddy's to ring in the new year in a redneck style :) This included an extremely large bonfire (at least 20ft) quarter sticks (don't ask me how we got those ;) a hollow log soaked in gasoline and lit on fire, guns, and old couches we tortured and then burned. It was a great time had by all and it was really fun to see some of my friends again.
  After recovering from the lack of sleep from new years I began searching for a job. I posted my resume on the Christain Camps and Conferences website and have received quite a few job oppertunities through that. I'm not sure what avenue I'm going to be taking at this point but God knows.
   This week I've been blessed with the oppertunity to go to Miracle Mountain Ranch for a little over a week to hang out with apprentices and talk with staff about some things. It has been such a blessing so far to be able to be around people who have the same passions and want to glorify God.
    God has been challenging me so much with multiple things. The two main things that have been going on and that you all could be praying about is where I am supposed to go, and also with all the health issues I have been having. For those of you who don't know what has been going on I have been developing food allergies. Right now I'm on an elimination diet which basically doesn't allow me to eat much of anything except veggies, fruits, chicken, rice and some other random things. I have been able to add some things back in that I've found I'm not allergic to but it is a trial and error type of thing. Please pray that we will figure out what is going on and that I will be able to accept this as something that God has for me and not have a pity party about it. God is molding me to lean on Him for everything even the little things. And teaching me to let Him be the fire in my heart and to let Him be the healer of my heart!
      Another bit of info is that I am most likely going to be selling my horse Annie. I do not want to go this route but at this point I cannot afford her and I don't know where I am going. If anyone knows of anyone who is looking for a good horse let me know.
     Thank you all for your prayers and support! God is going to do something amazing I am sure of it and nothing is too big for Him!





Elizabeth and I after a jump on the sledding hill :)